My Happy Ending
by AirForceInTraining
Summary: After recognizes Sara from the past everyone wonders what was she really like in the past? This is my story of Sara's past and what made her the Sara Sidle we know and the things we may not want to know about her childhood. -R-
1. Default Chapter

My Happy Ending

Prologue

I work as a CSI. I investigate crime scenes which are mostly of things gone wrong. Relationships break apart and one of them kills the other or themselves. Other people decide that life's too much and kill themselves. Some don't pay off debts and land themselves in the desert with a bullet in their heads. Many things about death are of something gone wrongs. People tell me I can be cold towards people at times, and other times empathic. If only the people I work with knew. I was one of those kids that would have ended up where half of the people we talk to because of our job are today. If I didn't stop what i was doing then I could have ended up as a drug addict, alcoholic, homeless, in jail, dead, or many other things. Catherine and Nick once asked me what I was in high school and I told them "Science Geek". Yeah I was in the last three months of school. Those last three months where I realized that all the cheating I did to get A's in classes wouldn't cut it in the real world, and that my life had to change. It took my brother's death to make me realize that, but it doesn't matter. So when I see people who turned out like that in life, I may be cold, but it's because I've been where they are, and when they say that they can't get out I say bull shit. I got out when I was a kid. What do they have to speak for?

A week ago someone recognized me from my bad High School reign. A girl I used to hang out with. Her name was Amber Ritter. Funny how everything I worked for and hid can come crashing back in one millisecond when she says one word to me "Anjelita." Funny ain't it? Anjelita is my name. Everyone knows me as Sara Sidle. Yeah, those last three months of school when I got put into that final foster home I was Sara Sidle. Until that point I was Anjelita Ramirez. After that interview Brass, Greg, Grissom, and Nick -who happened to be working the case with us- cornered me and asked what Amber was talking about that pissed me off so bad. She said to me "Too bad Blaze went to far and ended up dead eh chica?" Blaze was what we called by brother. Yeah, I was pissed she had the nerve to talk about my brother like that. They knew I was pissed when I smirked at her with an evil grin that hadn't been seen in years and replied "Too bad Alejandro fucked up your life good and left you with nothing eh chica?" Amber glared at me and I smirked as I walked out. Alejandro had been Amber's Boyfriend in High school that was bad news and left her with nothing. So they asked me what the hell that was about, and I shrugged it off telling them it was nothing important now.

In the car Grissom didn't drop it. Greg just sat in the back as we argued. He had told me to take the rest of the night off and when I got back tomorrow night that he needed an explanation. So that's why I'm writing this you see. I'm quitting, and moving back home. And what I'm about to tell you now is going to be left with my resignation papers. What I'm about to tell you now is the hell I went through when I was a kid and when I was in high school. Everything you think you know about me, about Sara Sidle, is about to change when that image of a science geek is stripped from you mind and you're introduced to Anjelita Ramirez. Get Ready now. It's a wild ride.


	2. The Beginning of the Tale

Grissom walked into his office and saw the thick envelope on his desk. He sat down and opened it up. There was a disk and then resignation papers. Sara's...Grissom was confused and then he grabbed the disk and popped it in his computer. A single file was on it so he opened it up.

It said that this was what he wanted. What he would read was the explanation he wanted and in the end was the reason she left. What she said was:

_Everyone has an image they place me as here in Vegas. Some think of me as cold, others as to empathic, and some just think I work too much, but what you're going to read Grissom, is what I was and what made me who I am, who you see me as. I don't care if you let the others read this or what you choose to do with this, but I didn't want to leave without you knowing why. Why I'm leaving is because I've out stayed my welcome. I should have left before, but you said that I should stay so I did. In the end look at me. I've been suspended for telling off Catherine and who knows what's next right? I knew that if I had to explain this to you face to face, then all I've worked for would come to an end. I'm not who you think I am Grissom. What I did in the past was dark and what I went through was darker. There's a reason I'm the way I am. I told you part of it. You know I had a brother, and that I watched my mom kill my dad. Yeah small thing in my hell of a past. So read on and here's your explination. _

_Until I see you again if I do, Sara Sidle._

"Grissom," Catherine said from the doorway and he looked up. "I need to borrow Sara for a case since you borrowed Nick."

"You can't," Grissom replied and Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?" Catherine asked.

"She quit," Grissom said and Catherine walked over to where he was.

Together they closed the office door and sat at the computer, and began to read.

> > > > > >

(Sara's Point of View)

AN: I know this is in the past but recent music and songs I know are what's going to be playing because these songs would fit in. You all can deal. I'm turning 14 this month so don't know 80's music that well.

There are so many places I could begin you could never guess. I could start in Middle School where the conquering and my addictions began. I could start in High school where I was at my worst. I could start where I realized what was going on and how my brother died because of similar means that I was doing. I could start way back as to why I would even consider doing stupid things like I did. When you're a kid you don't want to think about the consequences.

Maybe a little background will help. I was born Anjelita Maria Alejandra Servantez Ramirez. I went by Anjelita Ramirez. I was born in Tamales Bay, California when my parents were there on vacation with my brothers and sister. My dad was latino and my mom was born in the Caribbean. My two older brothers, and older sister were all born in Monterrey, Mexico. I was born with my twin brother Xavier in California so we were deemed US citizens. My mom finally convinced my dad to settle in the States. So they moved to Tamales Bay.

My siblings from oldest to youngest went Tadeo, Javier, Catalina, then me and Xavier. Our latin heritage was big to our dad. My first language was spanish. My parents were also devoted Catholics so we grew up in church. My parents taught us all "Life's three virtues" which were Love, hope, and faith. Something we heard our dad saying later in life was "La fe es inútil, la Esperanza un dolor, y el Amor pica con fuerza." It means roughly: Faith is useless, Hope's a pain, and Love stings hard.

We lived most of our lives with our parents. As Xavier and I got older though we noticed our parents arguing way more often. When we were 9 our dad snapped and well...we won't go into details. Xavier and I were 9, Catalina was 11, Javier was 12, and Tadeo was 15. We all went into Foster care and that went to hell. Tadeo was never seen again and for all I know he could still be alive. Javier died in his foster house. Catalina stayed with Xavier and I, and ended up dead the same night we were sent to the hospital in a car crash. Basically, my dad was right when he said all that stuff about love, hope and faith in my eyes.

Finally Xavier and I landed in a house that we stayed in for more than a year, a personal record. Best part, the parents were oblivious. They were the coprorate type and we were there as presentation. All we had to do was get good grades, look pretty around the others my parents worked for, then we could do whatever. That didn't turn out too good.

Alright I think that's enough background for you. In middle school I did in total three assignments on my own, but I got straight a's. That's the plus side of having people who wanna be like you. Get them to do your work. Sit next to some nerdy kid who will let you copy off his papers on test just if you talk to him. It also helped that Xavier was a genius. He got all a's and all, then would spend his day at the beach surfing.

Soon as everything went to hell and most of our real family was dead, we couldn't give a crap what we did. We didn't care about anything anymore. At school Xavier was the idiotic surfer/skater. We all know the type. Always got detentions because he was skating on campus and stuff like that. Then there's those girls who are beyond popular, and seem beyond the rules. That'd be me. Came into classes late, didn't do anything, yet got A's just to piss off the teachers. Trust me it worked real well.

Anyways, the thing is that Xavier and I were the total opposites. I was the popular crowd, he was the outcast with his gang. Didn't matter just as long as we rarely mingled together. Guess I should start with the details.

It was my last year at Tamales Bay Middle School. As 8th graders we ruled the school, and boy did we rule it good.

> > > > > >

September 15, 1984 in Tamales Bay, California.

"Girl if you don't hurry your ass up we're going to be late to school," my brother Xavier said as I tied my long wavy hair up.

I called him Blaze like everyone in the town did. We had a hell of a past. I grew up seeing my parents drinking and smoking so that I didn't realize that it wasn't normal. Then I realized something was wrong the first day I saw my dad hit my dad. Then he started hitting Blaze and me. We're twins. So when we were 9 when he snapped. We went into foster care. We finally settled in our third foster house for awhile, the Russel house where I stuck with my name Anjelita Ramirez. So we're headed to 8th grade, but I want to tell you about the Russel household a bit. Our mom and dad divorced when we were in 4th grade and now that we're in 7th, they're separated and we live with our mom, Melinda. She smokes and drinks a little but not enough to where it's bad for us. Mel's dating this guy who I can't stand. Blaze doesn't care. He spends his time with his friends out surfing, and getting high. So, he does his thing, but I'm not as lucky. A month into my mom and step-dad's relationship I saw him sniffing coke in the bathroom one morning. From then on I hated the guy and couldn't give a shit. While our mom was away and he was there he'd hit me as usual, but I just let it happen.

"I'm coming dumbass," I said to Blaze and we headed outside with our backpacks towards school.

"Watch what you call me Anjelita or I'll kick your ass," Blaze said as we walked.

"Yeah right wuss," I countered and he just scoffed.

I cut to the other side of the street and met up with my friends. We had dominated elementary school and were now doing the same for middle school. Us three wore low jeans that clung tight to our new curves, and tight shirts that showed our tan bellies. We were the popular kids as everyone would tell you. Our hair was perfect as was the makeup we aquired by means of survival. So we entered West Tamales Bay Middle School walking in and seeing our friends from before.

"Anjelita girl," Nikolai grinned walking over and sliding his arm around my waist and I turned to him.

"Nikolai," I grinned kissing his cheek and hugging him tight.

"Ladies," Nikolai grinned to the other two and his guys smirked as I looked at them.

"Hey boys how bout some lovin'?" I grinned and they smiled.

I hugged and Kissed Nikolai's friends, Mason, Jared, Bryant, and Alejandro. My girl friends also got in with the love from the guys. My girls were Amber, Jessica, and Nikki. We all walked through the hallways nodding a people we knew and making fun of the lower class kids as we went by before Amber and I spotted some guys looking at us. We walked passed with smirks and our usual slutty looks on.

"Hey boys. Enjoyin the show," I grinned and they hollered appriciateively to us making us grin and laugh.

"Anjelita come hang with us after school," One of the guys grinned.

"You wish Antonio," I grinned as I linked arms with Amber and Nikki.

We walked through the hallways and nodding to people who called out names. We passed a few new kids in our 8th grade classes and looked at them in disgust. Normal kids. Oy! See we dressed slutty, got the guys, took the risks in school, and because of that were envied by all afraid. At lunch I got up to go talk to Nikolai out on the field.

"See you in Geo," I said to Amber who nodded.

I got up and walked out getting calls in my wake. I noticed one of the new girls following me and I let her as I walked trying to decide if I should talk to her.

"Nice shirt," I said not turning around as I walked.

"Cute Belt," She replied and I paused turning.

I eyed her over. She wore jeans, converse, a t-shirt with a heart in flames on the chest, bracelets and a wristband. Her blonde hair fell just at her shoulders. This all compared to my black tight pants, black top that tied down the middle revealing my belly ring, black bracelets and a silver cross that fell from my neck. My dark brown hair fell wavy past my shoulders and I wore black converse also.

"Meet me at Main Street and Central at 6 to shop," I told her and pulled out my trusty gel pen from my pocket.

I grabbed her arm and wrote my number on there.

"Come or give up," I said and started to walk away.

I realize now that I didn't even ask her name nor give her mine. I just gave her my number and left. That's when it started. By the time I was through with that girl, she would have been transformed into one of us...something that no one should want to become.


	3. Things get nasty

Sorry it's been awhile since I've updated. Spanish finals and then on monday I got Algebra finals. I gotta do my Geography/Civics and Science finals on monday too so It's gonna be hectic as hell. Wish me luck.

Airforceintraining

PS: I passed my spanish final! Snoopy dance Only one who didn't already speak spanish who passed it in my class. Anyways, to the fic.

/\/\ 

October 15, 1984

There are so many things you haven't even realized yet. I was already in so deep you would have thought I'd never come out of it. Drugs, anything. Blaze was in some of my classes but I avoided him as if he were the plague. I sat between Jared and Bryant and behind Jessica and Amber. Turns out this Science teacher though we needed to have a placement test to see where we were after she saw our grades so far in this class. Of course I never did my work, so I needed some answers. Unfortunately Jared was the one I copied off of and he didn't give without a price.

I turned to him with a grin as I had my pencil in one hand.

"Come on Jared. You know you want to," I smirked my voice sweet.

"What's in it for me Angel?" He asked looking back at me.

Jared was 14 and was well the wiser in all. He was held back a year but we loved him just as well.

"What do you want?" I grinned.

"Meet me at my place after school and you can pay me back," Jared said.

Hey, I had to pass school some how. This was nothing compared to stuff I usually did.

"I'll bring Amber and her boy along," I said and He nodded showing me his answers.

"I'll bring the usual," Jared smirked.

The rest of the day went that way. At lunch we conquered as usual. As us girls walked away from the table every guy was looking at us yet we didn't look at them just walked straight ahead. It was the usual stuff for us. Teenage boys, all the same. After school I met up with Jared and Nikolai.

"I'm headed to Jared's. See you tonight," I said to Nikolai who nodded.

"Usual place girl," Nikolai said walking away.

Jared put his arm around my waist and pulled me with him as we walked. Amber and Alejandro followed behind us and we entered Jared's house where his parents were gone as usual. We walked into his room and locked the door. We all sat on the couches in there and Jared pulled out the beers for us. After awhile of drinking Jared's hand started tracing invisible lines on my arm and I turned to him with a grin.

"Gon' pay me back girl?" Jared asked with a smile.

"Of course," I grinned and my hand went to his hair and we started kissing passionately.

I was faintly aware of Amber and Alejandro doing the same. Amber was always quick to follow my suit. Then as we kissed I swung one leg over so I was straddling Jared as we kissed. His hands went to my lower back and I grinned as we pulled apart.

"You're going to start to owe me," I grinned.

"I'll make it worth your while," Jared replied and we kissed.

After going to meet up with Kaci and heading to her house, we snuck out at 8 to the park. Our 16 and 17 year old friends were waiting in the truck and we climbed in. I slid next to a guy I always sat with, Kenneth and lay in the hook of his arm as it slid around me.

"Hey baby," he grinned kissing me and we began to make out.

Kaci grinned and picked one out for her own. Eventually we knew that we were more alike than we knew. It was about 11 when I broke away and snuck home. I got in my room and then as I got in bed Blaze came in quietly and closed the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He said heatedly.

"None of your damn business," I countered.

"It is my buisiness because you're my damn sister. God Anjelita look at you. You're worse than before damn it. What the hell do you gain by having guys crawling all over you and you doing god knows what to them?" Blaze asked.

"Well what the hell do you gain by smoking that shit all the time?" I countered and he glared. "Sorry Blaze, I'm not as stupid as you may think or want me to be. You come back from _surfing_ and I can smell that shit on you. Don't you start ripping on me."

"How the hell do you know what that smells like?" Blaze questioned. "Damn it you're my little sister and-"

"I'm not as little as you want me to be," I cut him off. "As much as you want me to forget what the hell happened to us so far in life, I can't because whether you like it or not just because I'm two minutes younger doesn't make me any less incompatent. Get the hell out of my room before we both get busted."

"Screw it. If you want to die that way then fine," Blaze said shaking his head.

"Could say the same about you. Keep smoking that shit and it'll fuck you up just as bad," I said and he glared walking out.

You see I hated this part. Where Blaze would get mad at me. As much as I hated to admit it, he was the only thing that kept me going. So at that point I was feeling like shit. I got up and walked to the bathroom where I closed and locked the door. I opened the medicine cabinent and looked for the one thing that was my release. I grabbed those scissors and that bloody rag that was hidden before sitting down on the ground and lifting my sleeve. I made just one cut up my arm and ignored the pain that resulted, but as the blood started flowing it felt better. I sighed and put the rag against the cut looking at the door and closing my eyes as I rested my head against the cabinet I was leaning against.

break 

I came in late again from getting high and drinking with the usual people. Scary isn't it. That the person you know would be doing that at 14. Hell I ended up going to Harvard. Makes you rethink the world. Anyways, I came back in and was walking through the kitchen to my room when I just was _lucky_ enough to see my step-dad so to speak grabbing a beer. Busted.

"What the hell are you doin' up," He demanded.

"Feedin' the dog?" I tried and his expression darked. "Ah shit."

He set down his beer, "I expect you to answer me you little-"

"What? Little what? What is it you wanna call me this time?" I countered tired of it all, and I think that the beer was still having it's effects on me. "What the hell do you expect from me? To actually want to stay here where you're sorry ass is all the time getitng drunk or high on that shit I see you secretly sniffing all the damn time."

Hearing the commotion I saw Blaze in the hallway with a look on his face I knew.

"Watch your damn mouth you little whore," He said stepping towards me but I didn't move.

"Ah so that's what I am in tonight's drunken daze," I smirked and Blaze shook his head.

"Shut up before-" Blaze started then our step-dad turned to look at him.

"Before what?" He asked.

"Nothing," Blaze sighed.

"Before you get pissed, before you decide to go hitting again," I said getting the darkest glare I'd seen in awhile. "Random guess."

I was on the ground in less than two seconds after that. My opinion- It was worth it. What happened afterwords was not. He picked me up and dragged me to my bedroom where all hell broke loose.

Break 

I lay in my bed that night careful not to move. I was bruised and battered but tomorrow nothing would be different. There was this kid Zach in my class who kiled himself last night because he thought his life was bad. We barely knew the kid yet when we found out it was like he was our best friend as we cried with the rest. Now though, at this moment when I am here lying in this bed after getting the shit beat out of me, I hate him. I hate him for being able to do what I'm terrified of doing. I hate him for being able to sleep peacefully forever. I hate him for being able to escape this damn world.

I don't even move my head from my gaze at the ceiling as my door opens and closes. Blaze walks over and looks at me.

"Sit up Anjelita. Got you some aspirin," He sighed.

It's how it always turns out. I get my ass kicked for saying something I shouldn't and he comes in and takes care of me no matter how much we've been arguing.

Now at 34 I wish he still was here, but he never made it throough high school.


End file.
